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I am Vietnamese American and I will be traveling to VN to meet a female friend who I was introduced to and I have been chatting and talking on the phone with for 6 months.
If I travel with her on a tour, can we book the same room? I heard there are restrictions but not sure what they are. How about if I stay in a Hotel in Sai Gon, can she stay in the hotel with me sometimes? Some hotels, usually the cheaper end don't seem to care much but even then it depends on the owners. Certainly it is the law in Vietnam that a Vietnamese woman may not occupy the same room as a foreigner - unless married.
Once you get into the realms of 4 or 5 star hotels then the law is usually strictly enforced. But even then if booked through a tour, questions just don't get asked. I would suggest contacting the hotels in the first instance. Worse they can suggest is maybe two rooms!
But do be aware that she will certainly have to hand over her ID card and you usually some form of ID, passport, Vietnamese driving license etc. All to do with preventing prostitution. If you are not staying in those, it's not a big deal really. If there is any concern, just ask the receptionist to put your names on 2 separated rooms when they report to the police. Please also be aware of Vietnamese culture here in Vietnam is quite different than in America.
Her family will not be impressed if their daughter goes off and spends the night in a hotel with a Viet Kieu male. Please respect this as casual relationships might be the norm in the west, they're certainly frowned upon here. And lastly an innocent girl here will not want to be seen entering a hotrl room with a male who is not her husband lest she be presumed to be a prostitute. It may seem old fashioned to us but it is the culture here. Please redpect it. There is a bar girl scene in Pham Ngu Lao area and also in Nha Trang and local girls do not want to be seen as being part if it.